


Close the internet (Hollywood undead crack/random pairings)

by Cyello, MePropellerWontSpin



Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Random - Freeform, Romance, WAKEMEUPINSIDE, Why Did I Write This?, cantwakeup, glutenfree, memefree, slimshady, stopme, thisisshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyello/pseuds/Cyello, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MePropellerWontSpin/pseuds/MePropellerWontSpin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't read unless you wanna lose brain cells<br/>just keep scrolling.<br/>It's ok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The fisting festival

**Author's Note:**

> Just like the title says..  
> Close the internet so people like me won't try to write this awful....I don't even.  
> I didn't sleep for like 41 hours, before I passed out I wrote this on my phone and forgot about it.  
> This is shit...it's so bad but I can't keep this to myself.  
> I dedicate this to my friends and family.  
> and my homedog Mepropellerwontspin, who refuses to bear my children.  
> Uhhhhh Daguppz can write whatever IDFK  
> Umm, theres no plot, it can be a story line one chapter or a drabble.  
> I regret everything

It was another night in the most ratchet club in the rundown part of LA. Prostitutes were already hanging around willing to give sloppy, 5$ blow jobs.

  
The entire dance floor was slippery from sweat and faliure. like Paula dean herself greased melted butter on the floor with her own body.

Everyone in that club was slipping on their asses the moment Skrillex turned on another blender. His mixtape was lit as shit, homie. One of the blenders became conscious and questioned it's own existence.  
Why has god abandoned me?

"This place smells like shit!" Matt complained, unable to get the bird's nest out of his nappy hair.

Getting fucking irritated by the falcons, Jordon grabbed one of the birds out from the nest and broke it's neck before he threw the carcass at the DJ.

  
"I was saving that!" Matt didn't really care about the birds He was just mad that Jordon hadn't paid child support for their accident child.

  
"Bruh, we can't leave yet." Jorel was looking around for the anorexic commie-fuck.

  
"Who the fuck cares?" George just wanted to go home and pump more steroids into his body.

"George, you're a fucking cunt!"

 

Right then and there, Jorel knew everything everywhere was _fucked_.

 


	2. Sun up, cocks out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DaGuppz helped me out with this a tiny bit before giving up.  
> I don't blame him.  
> This is shit.  
> It's not about whether we should do it or not  
> It's if we CAN do it or not.

Funny man ran back to the rest of the group panting. "Guys, there’s a talking horse in the club!" He pointed at Deuce.

“Hey fuck you! Do you know who the fuck I am!? I am ‘Big Deuce’” Aron shouted “Suck on Deez nuts!"

Jordon pulled a potato sack out of his back pocket. He was going to use it on Danny whenever he got out of line, but this time was different. "Everyone stand back there’s a disorientated animal in the room!"

"WAIT! That horse....is special...he’s a majestic creature that should be thrown in the trunk of my car," Jorel cut in, giving a creepy smile.

George still had cocaine residue on his nose after doing a whole line “what’s going on? Wha-?”

Danny gave a sigh. “ _Who cares about Deuce anymore? More than that, why are we still talking about 2010? It’s been years, let’s act like adults and just stop talking about it, stop blogging, and stop making gross fanfictions. Let’s get over it. Our friendship is what counts the most and the time we have left to live and laugh_.”

Danny was met by Jordon’s angry glare after his speech. “What did we talk about?”

“Don’t speak unless I’m spoken to.” Danny finished.

“Go wait in the car.” Jordon ordered.

Danny muttered something under his breath before following orders.

“Wait, hold the fuck up!” George wiped the rest of the coke off from under his nose. “Aron is mine. We have ‘thangs’ and ‘stuff’ goin on kno’ what I’m sayin?”

“Aron you cum slut!” Jorel grabbed the potato sack from Jordon, ready to bag the farm animal.

Matt looked at Jordon. “I want a divorce.”


End file.
